Almost There

The first week of school is almost over. It hasn't been an easy week, but I'm taking an attitude of "if I can do it once, I can do it again". Given how this week has been, I don't doubt it either. It'll be nice if that class can be moved to ease up my Tuesdays and Thursdays, but if not, I'll just make the extra effort then and rest up extra before. Given everything this week, between myself feeling so exhausted after my grandmother, and the craziness of being the first week back, and my trying to sort things out with Tabi and intermittent bursts of worrying intensely about her... not likely to come across more weeks that are a trial like that.

Now I just need to make it through tomorrow and get to recovering while I work ahead. Part of which will be figuring out why it is I feel tired, the empty, lonely type depressed with my thoughts, and am having trouble communicating it. It's hard to get into more, is part of why, but once I can, I can put it all out there for her and I'm sure that will ease her mind a lot. Also generally accepted as the first step to recovery.

I just wish I knew what was bugging her so much so I could try and help her do the same.

Said she wasn't ready to talk about it tonight.

So I guess tomorrow I'll find out. I just hope she's okay until then, and isn't only being brave for me tonight. I'm proud of how strong she can be at times, but I really wish she didn't have to do so much alone... or perhaps feel the need to.

Then again, I like to help people.

Always been my thing. I'll probably super psycho-analyze and figure that out one some day. Given that psychology mostly seems to be about find the most ignoble or unhealthy possibilities or conditions even for healthy behavior, I'm sure it'll be something unbalanced or selfish, and the darker side of my humor will get a good solid laugh at the whole mess.

Eh. I'm babbling on tangents.

On to tomorrow.

Goodnight.