Don't know how to get into it much more than that at the moment. I am. Writing about it too much just gets me wanting to pace circles, so I'm going to leave it at that if the rest of this is incoherent. I worry about people. I like to help when I can too, but God knows I've fucked up in the past.
Issue comes when you have to figure out how the mistakes effect the future. It sure as hell effects people's confidence in you. Even the ones with confidence in me seem to have well more than their fair share of doubts. Which is ironic; I think I'm finally learning to not doubt myself. Took damn long enough. Just have to ask if it took too long.
And I keep losing things. Not all of it was my fault today- I was in a rush to get back on campus and get that easy sense of having my own space and not being scrutinized, and people had moved things on me with barely any noticed before my very eventful two weeks with my kitten. I also left a keyboard, but I tend to forget things as a rule. Like the clothes I put in the drawer at the end of the trip to make packing easier. Or the Ethernet cable. Or what I'd meant to write up in this blog when I moved back in, since changed into this.
Maybe I should use more lists. I've always hated them, but it seems like maybe they might at least keep me from forgetting things left and right because of the tizzy of things zipping this way and that in my head most of the time.
Long as I didn't forget those lists.
Where was I going with that again?
Lists are helpful and as annoying as they are, they work. You just got to get into the habit of having them. <3
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