Making Up

I'm going to put it this way, bluntly; I don't like making up.

Which is not at all how it sounds, honestly. Making up revolves around there having been a falling out or fight, and I'd rather avoid those entirely. There's also always the issue of vindication (ready to DURR at myself if that word isn't a derivative of vindictive) and pride. I don't think I am excessively either, but for some things and people, my temper and pride sure can get involved. Tabi is one of them.

But mostly, if there's a falling out and I care enough about a person to make up or fight to begin with, rather than just avoid them, its well worth the effort and biting down on my pride to make up. It's oftentimes even better with Tabi, much as those are the fights I hate the most, as the results are the best (and most important). Learning the give and take of where to draw the line when admitting where I went line is a little new- but most people never needed this much detail when it came down to it, so if they really couldn't be reconciled on it, simply not directly stating it would be enough. Generally, they weren't worth arguing over it more if that was the case. Tabi, however, likes to get things clear and discuss points. It's been different learning when I have to stand my ground- or be aggressive- and how to admit I'm wrong when I am.

Then again, I feel like I never had half this much pride before her.

My kitten. <3

The unfortunate irony of this post, though, is that we're not done making up. We've mostly gotten finished with it in regards to our massive argument last night, but unfortunately she called me and woke me up out of a nap accidentally (while I was still stressed about work and upset about the argument) and meant to apologize. The problem is before she got around to it, we talked about something else; and when I'm first waking up, I speak gibberish. Not complete gibberish. Just nonsense. When someone wakes me into that groggy non-sense state that only phonecalls and lack of solid sleep seem to be able to create, my brain immediately starts processing the world in terms of the rules of a random game- it's been everything from D&D to Minecraft, to Magic the Gathering and I don't even remember how many others (today it was Magic- I don't recall what, but something was costing red mana). She was reasonably frustrated by this, and when it sounded like she was snapping me or being sarcastic, I snapped back- in excess.

So now I'm back on ground I wish I could say felt wholly unfamiliar.

I've apologized, but I feel like I need to make up a little still, because I know how much trouble she can have admitting when she's been wrong. But I think I owe a little something extra besides just "cleaning the slate".


...so we'll see if I can take another shot at honing my razor-sharp skills for creating romantic events and picking creative, thoughtful presents. =___________=

Sarcasm aside, Fishy out.