Double Duty

I hate realizing I've forgotten one of these.

Usually it's after days where Tabi and I either have a big fight- or on which we're very busy. Last night, we were very... busy. Today we had a different kind of busy. After a very nice chance to sleep in, we got started late, and then napped a bit more, and then got started later. It's been a productive day, however. I am over half down the most difficult portion of the present I'm making for her, and actually confident I can have it done in advance of her birthday enough to touch it up and make some nice finishing touches before I show it off to her- perhaps even a day or two early. I am getting excited about my progress there already.

Mostly though, I hit the gym again, for a more intense session after some solid stretching and warming up, and I'm beginning to feel ready to start counting my sets. What is up for debate, however, is if I want to go with the many large, lighter sets in order to try and burn off fat, since I would ideally like to chop off a few pounds, or if I'm more determined to spend the time working on heavy sets to bulk up, since I also aim to do some of that. At the least, I suppose I could do lighter sets over all, and do some bulk work on my arms, since they are the part of me that is honestly most in need. That and determining exercises to strengthen and ease my back muscles would be fantastic.

Further, done some work, and gotten to reading in the group project Tabi and I are helping with. Big strides there as I'm actually reading enough info to feel confident in contributing- since I like to have a full picture before crafting new parts on to a machine. I want to make sure I'm making something to make it flow smoother, or carry out functions either better or additionally- not just another random lever to get in the way.

Also, to note, yesterday begins the period of stamina training, so to speak. I will likely let myself get off once or twice in this period, but it will be largely working it and not finishing... well, jerking it, I guess.  I'm also leafing through my book on tantric, to see what it has to offer to help me out with this. I really need to get my reading speed up so I can go through the whole thing some time, rather than just trying to hunt for bits relevant to my current interests. So blueballs and frustration may abound. But I have my kitten for some fun to make that more bearable. Last night was fantastic for that. I greatly enjoyed our play, though it seemed a bit time and attention (and energy) intensive to be a daily thing while finals are going on. On times with lighter loads however....


Finally, I made a mistake as a dom today.

I put my kitten in the closet for a punishment on a subject she'd already understood and rectified the behavior of. And while I believe some punishment was necessary to enforce that she was accountable for her actions, I should have made it lighter to reward her good behavior and learning; instead I left it in full, and then allowed her to have unintended pain going through it. I know why I did this. I have in the past had problems with enforcing rules with punishment and upholding said punishment. I've been learning the importance of having a strong hand about these things so I can be taken seriously. the problem... is that I forgot how the most vital part is a CONTROLLED hand. I focused on the wrong thing this once. I apologized to her, but I owe her to do better in the future. It will make this aspect of domming more complicated and difficult than I had realized.

However, this time... I not once doubted that I was up to that challenge.

Small steps forward.